Bad Dreams
by ShoeQueen
Summary: Jack has bad dreams off world and Sam comforts him. He opens up about things he's never told anyone. One shot.


**Disclaimer: Still not my characters.**

**This has not been beta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.**

**While I like the premise, I'm not thrilled with how this story turned out. I've rewritten it a hundred times (okay, maybe just 5, but it feels like a hundred), and I decided it's not going to get any better, so I might as well post it. Maybe I'm just too close, and you guys will like it. ;)**

**Reviews appreciated**

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Late season 7

Major Samantha Carter wakes up to a shuffling sound. She opens her eyes, alert to any danger that may be coming. She's been out in the field for almost 7 years now and knows how to respond to a threat at a moment's notice. She can still here Daniel sleeping in the next tent, his snores loud due to his constant allergies, and assumes Teal'c is somewhere on watch. This worries her, as Teal'c would have alerted them to danger, unless he couldn't. She looks over at Colonel Jack O'Neill, expecting to see him up and ready too, but he's still asleep. She realizes he's the source of the noise, and relaxes, but only for a moment. She's been off world with the Colonel since the beginning and realizes that she's never seen him so much roll over once he's asleep. Years of black ops training and months in an Iraqi prison, not to mention the various off world prisons he's been tossed into, seem to have drilled into him not to make noise even while he slept. She's completely stunned and is unsure what she should do. His face is tight, the lines between is eyebrows deep, when he starts frantic mumbling. His words are incoherent, but he is clearly in distress, and she can't just let him go through whatever his mind is torturing him with. Crawling out of her sleeping bag, which she never zips, she inches over toward him, and tentatively touches his shoulder. "Sir," she whispers. "Sir, wake up."

Sam is unprepared for what happens next. One moment she is leaning over him, and the next she's pinned under his weight, her arms trapped by his elbows and his hands around her throat. He's looming over her, his eyes unseeing and glassy, and she realizes he's still asleep. "Sir," she gasps, her air supply being cut off. She wants to yell, but can't. Trying to pull in enough air to speak again, she manages but it's barely above whisper. "Sir, it's me, Carter!" Kicking out with her legs, the only part that's remotely mobile, she manages to make firm contact with his shin. She prays it wakes him up, instead of causing him to put more pressure on her throat. Blackness is starting to creep into the sides of her vision, and she frantically kicks again as hard as she can. Blackness is starting to win. She can't believe after all the times she's escaped death, it's going to end at the hands of her CO, the man she trusts and cares for more than anyone. "Sir!" She gasps one last time.

Jack's eyes suddenly come into focus, and he jumps off of her like he's on fire. "Carter! Christ, what happened?"

Sam drags great gulps of air into her lungs, coughing. Jack reaches for her shoulders, and gently props her up to help her breathe easier, resting her against him so she doesn't have to strain to stay up. "Carter," he asks desperately. "Are you okay?"

Feeling less light headed, Sam nods. "Yes, Sir." Her voice sounds a little raspy, but Jack quickly grabs a canteen lying near his sleeping bag, also never zipped, and helps her take a few sips. She's grateful and her throat feels better almost immediately. "Yes, Sir," she says again, sounding more normal. "Are you okay, Sir?"

"Me? You're the one who nearly got choked to death." He helps her sit further up, but keeps an arm around her back. He needs to reassure himself that she's okay. The thought that he could have seriously hurt her scares him. "What…what happened? Why did I attack you?"

Sam looks at him in the dim light and can see the distress on his face. "You were having some sort of bad dream, and I tried to wake you up. I guess I should have been a little louder, and maybe not touched you while you were sleeping. Sorry about that, Sir. I guess I wasn't thinking."

Jack scrubs his free hand down his face. "Jeez, Carter, you shouldn't be apologizing. I should. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. You know I'd never hurt you on purpose don't you?" He looks at her desperately.

"Of course, Sir." Her breathing is becoming easier and she sits up fully, but immediately wishes she hadn't broken the contact between them. They're sitting next to each other, separated by only a few inches, but she misses touching him. "I know it was an accident. You were having a bad dream. Wanna talk about it?"

"No," is Jack's clipped response.

Sam feels the sting of it, and nods. "Um, okay. Sorry." She feels embarrassed, and moves to go back to her sleeping bag.

Jack's puts a hand on her arm to stop her, and she looks up into his eyes, which are filled with pain. "Charlie," he says quietly.

"Oh, Sir. I didn't…know."

Jack shakes his head and releases her. He wraps his arms around his knees, which he's pulled up in front of him. "Of course, you didn't." He turns to stare out at the emptiness of the tent, not saying anything for a long while. Sam doesn't know what to do, and is about to speak, when he suddenly starts talking, his flat voice. "Today. It was 10 years ago today."

Sam gasps softly. "That he...?"

Jack nods his head, but doesn't speak.

"I'm sorry, Sir. You should have taken some time off."

He makes a noise deep in his throat. "No. It's worse when I'm alone. I thought…I thought staying busy would help, but it doesn't. I can never escape it, Carter. I can never get away from what happened. I can never stop hearing the discharge of that gun. I can hear that, but I can't remember what his voice sounded like. I try, but I just can't. I can only hear that damn gun. My gun. My gun that I didn't secure."

"Sir, I-I can't imagine how you've made it through. Your strength amazes me." She hesitates momentarily, but reaches out run her hand softly down his arm, stopping to place it on top of his. He intertwines his fingers with her. "What was he like?" Jack is silent for a long time, and she thinks she might have crossed a line. "Oh, that was too personal. I should't have asked."

Squeezing her hand slightly, Jack takes a deep breath before speaking. "Perfect. He was perfect. He was funny, and kind, and sweet, and loved baseball and hockey. He could make me and Sara crazy sometimes, but we loved him so much. God, I miss him."

Sam has not taken a breath or moved a muscle, afraid she would break the moment. He's never once spoken to anyone about Charlie that she knows of. Kawalski worked with the Colonel for years, and didn't he know the Jack had a son. She's unsure what to do, but is willing to be there for him as long as he needs her. She speaks softly, looking at his profile. "Sir, you don't have to tell me, if it's too hard."

He turns his eyes back to hers. "I think I need to. Is that okay?"

"I'd be honored to hear about him." She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. "Tell me whatever you want."

Jack spends the next hour telling her about the little boy he'd lost ten years earlier. When he's finally talked out, Sam has tears running down her face at the pain in his words, and sadness for the little boy who never got the chance to experience the world or get to know how amazing his father really was. She wishes she could erase all the hurt and guilt Jack feels. Their hands are still intertwined, but she reaches up with her free hand and to wipe the lone tear that rolls down his cheek. "Thank you for telling me about him. He sounds wonderful. I'm sad I never met him."

He leans into her palm, and turns slightly to place a light kiss on her palm, startling her. "He would have liked you. He was smart, like you. He was science-y and curious. He loved to take things apart. Your lab would have thrilled him with all the doohickeys." They're quiet for a moment, hands clasped and his cheek still in her palm. "Thank you for letting me talk about him. I know you'll be surprised to hear I'm not big on talking." He smiles at her slightly. "It still hurts like hell to think about what happened, and always will, but I feel a little better now that someone else knows about who he was. I probably wouldn't have told anyone but you. You're my best friend, Carter. Did you know that?"

Sam smiled up at him with watery eyes. "You're mine too."

He lets go of her hand, and wraps his arm around her, pulling her close. She puts her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for always being there for me, Carter."

"Whenever you need me, Sir," she replies quietly. It feels so right having his arm around her. They fit together perfectly.

He kisses the top of her head. "Someday, Carter, when this is all over," he tells her softly. "Someday. I promise."

She smiles softly, overwhelmed by the trust he's put in her and the unspoken love between them. "I know. I'll be here."

Fin

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**Thanks for reading! I've got more stories in the works. **


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